Does it ever stop and should it even exist at all?
As a woman and a researcher I can only denote that this useless, hurtful and abusive behaviour stems from a scarcity mentality. Feeling threatened, envious or bested by another woman is indicative of immature, individualistic, selfish and misogynistic personality types. Thankfully most women mature out of this terrible and terrifying stage but not before they have ruined, caused irrevocable damage and severely traumatised their victims.
In my experience as a psychologist, most of the young women seeking assistance to deal with this form of social or relational abuse are beautiful, smart, kind and friendly. They are mostly bewildered by the hostility they are facing on a daily basis and some are living on the edge of suicide as a result. They are constantly second guessing their actions, reactions, feelings and self-worth. Is this any way to build each other up?
As women we have fought a long battle against patriarchy (and are still fighting this to this day). We banded together to earn the right to be educated, to have careers, to have a vote, to be recognised as a human being in our own right. Why is it taking us so long to evolve to a stage where we really FEEL that we are equal to men and stop fighting each other!
Ladies, girls, women… I urge you. Stop fighting each other, lift each other up. Live in an abundance mentality. Be happy for your friend if she is offered a modelling contract, be overjoyed if your friend is a tennis pro, be amazed that you are one of the incredible people in the group and act as a force together rather than dividing up and leaving one person out for the lions to devour.
Our strength as women, as humans, as forces of nature is always found in numbers and togetherness. Our humanness is found in kindness, resolve, acceptance. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer… We can’t all be Charlize Theron or Taylor Swift. But we can be Charlize and Taylor’s friend, mentor, sounding board, colleague or simply someone they remember fondly in the school environment.
When you see that girl sitting alone at break/lunch/study hall, be the amazing person you know you are inside and invite her to sit with you. Be the brave person your parents would be proud of for sticking up for that person the other girls are picking on.
Be better, be stronger, be the best you you can be. #ChallengeYourself
